People have an incredible talent for avoiding others, almost like an art form perfected over centuries. It’s as if avoiding someone is a sport, a game where the rules are constantly changing, and the goal is to disappear without a trace. They develop ingenious methods, some so subtle that only a seasoned avoidance artist could recognize them. It’s not just about dodging a call or a message; it’s about the full-on, Olympic-level act of vanishing into thin air, leaving behind a trail of excuses, half-truths, and sometimes outright lies.
Take the classic “I’ll call you later.” That phrase is practically the Swiss Army knife of avoidance. It’s so versatile, so adaptable, that it can mean anything from “I genuinely forgot” to “I am actively ignoring you.” People toss it around like confetti at a parade. You call back, and the reply is, “Oh, I was so busy, I totally meant to call you but, you know, life happened.” Like life is some unpredictable beast that snuck into their house and stole their phone, preventing them from returning your call. It’s as if their phone is a cursed object that only works when they want it to.
And then there are the “emergencies”—the tried and true get-out-of-jail-free card. Someone’s “mother-in-law is sick,” or “the dog ate my homework,” or “I just remembered I have a dentist appointment I completely forgot about.” These excuses are so well-worn that they’ve become part of the cultural lexicon. Everyone has a story about how they were saved from an awkward social situation by a sudden crisis. “Oh, I was about to call you, but then I found out my neighbor’s hamster was stuck in a tree, and I had to help rescue him.” Sure, because hamsters are known for their tree-climbing skills, right?
People also develop elaborate routines to avoid others in person. They create “accidental” encounters that are anything but accidental. Walking down the street, eyes fixed firmly on their phone, they suddenly stop, pretend to tie their shoelace, or look at their watch as if it’s the most fascinating thing in the world. If they’re in a hurry, they might even fake a phone call, holding the device to their ear while speed-walking in the opposite direction. It’s a masterclass in non-verbal communication: I see you, I acknowledge you, but I am not interested in being involved.
Sometimes, avoidance is about timing. They’ll schedule meetings or errands during the exact window when they know the other person will be around. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I just remembered I have to be at the dentist at that exact time.” Or they’ll conveniently forget plans until the last minute, then send a quick message like, “Hey, I just remembered I have to wash my hair that day.” Because, obviously, hair washing is a critical activity that cannot be postponed.
Text messages are a playground for avoidance. Some people master the art of the “read receipt”—they leave you on “read” for days, then reply with a vague, non-committal message like, “Haha, lol, sounds good.” It’s as if they’re playing a game of emotional chess, carefully choosing when to make their move. If you confront them about it, they might say, “Oh, I didn’t see your message,” even though they were online the whole time, scrolling through memes and cat videos. You might get a reply days later, accompanied by a sheepish, “Sorry, I was so busy, I didn’t see your message.” Yeah right, busy doing what, binge-watching that new series about a detective who solves crimes with a pet goldfish?
And let’s not forget about social media. It’s a goldmine for avoidance strategies. People will like a post here, comment on something there, but avoid direct communication altogether. They’ll post a story about how “sometimes, you just need to disconnect,” while secretly avoiding that one person who might ask why they’ve been MIA. It’s a digital dance: liking, commenting, liking again, but never actually engaging in a real conversation. Meanwhile, you’re sitting there thinking, “Did I do something wrong, or are they just auditioning for the avoidance Olympics?”
The workplace is another arena where avoidance tactics thrive. Someone might dodge meetings by claiming they’re “swamped with work,” even if they’re just taking a mental health day. They’ll hide behind their computer screens, pretending to be busy while scrolling through Twitter or watching funny videos. When someone approaches, they’ll quickly close the tab, put on headphones, or turn their monitor away, as if that’s a foolproof invisibility cloak. You can almost hear the internal monologue: “If I don’t look at them, I can pretend I’m invisible. It’s foolproof.”
In social gatherings, avoidance becomes even more theatrical. They’ll arrive late, make a beeline for the snack table, and then disappear into the kitchen or bathroom for extended periods. If someone tries to approach them, they’ll suddenly develop an urgent need to “check on something” or “take a call.” It’s like they have a sixth sense for detecting someone they’d rather not talk to and will do everything in their power to dodge eye contact. You might see them nervously glancing around, clutching a plate of chips like a shield, as if chips are a magical barrier that keeps conversations at bay.
Some people go to extraordinary lengths to avoid others, even resorting to outright lies. “Sorry, I can’t make it to your birthday party,” they’ll say, then show up at another event on the same night, pretending they forgot about your party altogether. Or they’ll invent elaborate stories about being “out of town,” “caught up in an emergency,” or “just too tired.” It’s a game of deception, and they’re the reigning champions of the cover-up. Meanwhile, you’re left wondering if they’re just bad liars or if they’re secretly auditioning for the next season of “Avoidance: The Series.”
There’s also the phenomenon of the “phantom friend” who suddenly goes silent. They were all over your social media, commenting and liking, but when you reach out, they’re mysteriously unavailable. You might get a reply like, “Oh, I was so busy with work,” or “I didn’t see your message,” even though you know they’re binge-watching their favorite series or organizing their sock drawer. It’s like they’re cultivating a ghost persona—present enough to keep you interested but never truly there. You start to wonder if they’re just a figment of your imagination, a digital mirage.
In romantic contexts, avoidance can be even more creative. They’ll text “We need to talk,” then ghost for days. Or they’ll promise to call, then disappear into the ether, leaving you staring at your phone, wondering if you missed the memo that you’re now invisible. It’s a delicate dance of push and pull, where the person avoiding is also trying to avoid the guilt of hurting someone’s feelings, so they hide behind a fortress of excuses and half-truths. Sometimes, you get a vague “Let’s catch up soon,” which translates to “Never gonna happen, but I can’t bring myself to say that outright.”
Family gatherings are a special case of avoidance, too. People often claim they’re “busy with work,” “helping a friend,” or “just too exhausted” to attend. They’ll send a quick “Happy birthday!” message, and then vanish into their bedrooms, pretending they’re asleep or dealing with an emergency. It’s almost as if avoiding family is an art that requires constant practice and a toolbox of excuses. You can almost hear the internal dialogue: “If I ignore them long enough, maybe they’ll forget I exist.”
Sometimes, avoidance is driven by fear—fear of confrontation, fear of awkwardness, or fear of revealing too much. So, instead of facing the situation head-on, people become masters of the sidestep. They’ll change the subject mid-conversation, pretend to get a phone call, or just walk away, leaving the other person hanging. It’s a silent dance of discomfort, where the goal is to keep things as superficial as possible, avoiding any deep engagement. It’s almost as if vulnerability is a virus they’re trying to avoid at all costs.
There’s also the classic “I forgot” tactic. They’ll say, “Oh my gosh, I totally forgot we had plans,” even if they knew about it all along. It’s a strategic move to make the other person feel like they’re not being intentionally ignored, just temporarily forgotten—like a fleeting thought in the chaos of their busy lives. The “forgot” excuse is so common that it’s practically a national pastime. You start to wonder if everyone’s living in a perpetual state of amnesia or if they’re just really good at pretending.
People also develop mental avoidance strategies. They convince themselves that they don’t need to see or talk to someone because “it’s better this way” or “it’s not worth the hassle.” They justify their silence with self-righteousness, telling themselves that they’re protecting their peace or avoiding drama. Meanwhile, the other person is left wondering if they’ve been ghosted or if they simply fell off the face of the earth. It’s a mental game, a quiet battle of self-deception that keeps everyone spinning in circles.
In the end, avoidance is a universal language. It’s spoken fluently by some, rudimentarily by others, but everyone understands it. It’s a dance as old as time—sometimes subtle, sometimes blatant, but always effective in creating distance. People avoid because they’re uncomfortable, busy, afraid, or just plain lazy. Sometimes, it’s all of the above rolled into one. And whether it’s through a carefully worded excuse, a strategic delay, or an outright disappearance, avoidance remains one of the most fascinating and humorous human behaviors. It’s a testament to our ingenuity—and sometimes, our cowardice—when faced with the prospect of confrontation or genuine connection. And no matter how creative people get, there’s always a part of us that secretly admires the artistry behind avoiding someone with style, flair, and just the right amount of excuses to keep everyone guessing.
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