Be positive...

Be positive!

Modern lifestyle with its wonderful blessings like technological advances, economic prosperity, and improved medical care has made our lives better but as an accompaniment, we became more stressful. It is difficult to understand how and why stress has made its sneak peek in a very alarming manner into the modern-day living despite all the progress humankind had made when compared to the olden days. Ask our grandparents, they will tell you how less stressful they were during their younger days when there were no mobile phones, TV, and Internet, and how they also are trying to cope up with the stress which has affected them as well. How to remain positive in this jungle of stress, uncertainties, and the ever-growing social unrest, natural calamities, and the deteriorating interpersonal relationships is undoubtedly a difficult task!

Here comes the undisputable solution; do something to address this issue. Being negative, feeling less secure, and loss of optimism ultimately spoils our attitude to stay positive. The environmental pressures are increasing day-by-day and even the newborns are not immune to such problems that undermine the state of positive attitude. So, we must do something to make ourselves positive. The moment we understand our mental state is going into a downward spiral as a result of some event, some other people, or without any reason, try to do something to remain positive. This may include talking to a friend, reading a self-help book, listening to an uplifting talk, watching a good movie, playing with kids, taking a stroll in the park or garden, praying, or watching the huge collection of YouTube videos ranging from self-help talks, self-hypnosis, hypnotic music, meditation etc. The important thing is to do something as soon as possible to bring the mind back to the state of positivity. The problem that might have triggered the negativity might be still present making us scared but if we are going to approach this gigantic monster with a negative mindset we are bound to fail. An improved mood and a balanced state of mind are very much essential to tackle any problem that we face.

An important thing to remember here is to avoid the use of alcohol and other unhealthy ways to boost the mood. Resorting to such methods are dangerous and it can be stated that they act as a double-edged sword.

Engaging in a creative pursuit is a wonderful activity which anyone can try. This is the reason people often take up hobbies. Having such activities bring happiness even if such pursuits may not result in any financial gains. But the pleasure they give cannot be equated with money and money may not bring happiness most of the times.

So always try to remain positive even if nothing is there to feel positive. It is a fact that facing life’s challenges all alone is not always easy and we all must have some type of social support. Luckily there is no dearth of such solutions in the present-day world. Online and offline there is help available in one way or the other. And the options are plenty; there is no need to remain stuck with someone or something whose support and help is of no use.

The picture you see above is of the Thalassery (Tellicherry) pier known as ‘Kadalpalam’ in the Malayalam language which is a popular tourist spot. In the days of the British rule, the East India Company built the bridge for trade and this pier facilitated the transport of goods to and from the ships anchored far away in the ocean. They could not be anchored near the shore because of the huge rocks along the seashore. Thalassery (Tellicherry) was the headquarters of the British rule being an important trade-hub and the proximity to Mysore and the neighboring regions. It was a strategically important region during the British rule in Kerala. Still, this place remains as an important trade centre. It has been almost a century this pier is making its presence felt here battling the waves and the rough weather. How much it has endured remaining stable would better be judged by our own imagination! Despite all odds, it stands there feeling positive helping people get a glimpse of the sea far from the seashore! Some portions have been destroyed, so walking along this pier has become dangerous. No vehicles are allowed here. When the trade transport through the roads flourished and also partly due to the development of the Mangalore seaport this pier had lost its past glory. People still flock to this area to view this magnificent structure majestically extending to the sea enjoying the cool breeze and the positive aura it emanates is great!

• A positive attitude is not something that comes to people naturally; it has to be cultivated by regular practice. Those who master their minds are the real winners!

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Why some people pick up only negatives? How to tackle negatives in life? How to be positive?

Negatives and positives are two sides of the same coin. A coin exists with these two aspects and they are part and parcel of it. There is no existence to the coin without these two facets. Everything connected with life, in general, has these two aspects.

We cannot simply turn a blind eye towards the negatives. Likewise, stressing only the negatives also is foolish. In a place where yummy dishes and drinks flow freely somebody may think only of too much Cholesterol and Sugar and may discourage others not to touch anything and that amounts to absolute negativity but a warning not to indulge would be okay and cannot be termed negativity.

Try to analyze the situation. Find out the positives and negatives. Analyze how to balance both. Make a plan to reduce the risks, negatives or take calculated risks. Likewise, the positives also need analysis. Will it tackle negatives? Are these things that we see real positives? Are we taking lightly the negatives and over stressing positives?

Always listen to gut feelings, always...! 
Never, ever ignore this emotion, never!
Listen to inner talk, take some time and listen intently to what our subconscious mind is trying to tell us...!

I am telling you this from my experience. In instances where I ignored what my real inner self was trying to tell me, I had trouble. I am quite sure you all can relate to this fact.

There can be some instances where we can sound absolutely negative and being perceived as pessimistic. This usually happens when someone we trust betrays us when we get trapped in some tricky situations, forced to work with bad employers, when we get bullied, in the presence of manipulative parents, relatives, our loved ones and in front of unjust Authorities. Even naturally positive persons become pathetic in such situations. The manipulators will try to instill negativity in your mind and will accuse you of being negative. This is a cool trick! A person who is of the same league like them will not yield to such cunning tactics, but he/she will not fall prey to such traps in the first place :) They will know what to do to avoid such traps!

Please look at the above scenarios carefully. Almost always, people who get bullied, cheated, trapped etc., are 'soft souls' who perceive the world as only black and white and turn a blind eye towards the grey/shady/dark areas. This world and the people that inhabit here have positives and negatives. Some are crooked, cunning and expert manipulators. They know how to exploit people, how to manipulate them for their gains, how to sugar coat poison, how to satisfy their lust pretending love and in a nutshell, they know 'how to 'manage' ordinary people! They psyche their victims and the poor souls think that everything is their fault. Bullies will target someone emotionally immature than them and soft-hearted. Those they are sure who will not resist or fight back are easy hits. They assume that the target, their parents, relatives, friends or well-wishers are weak/afraid/reluctant to complain or exert resistance. Anger, violence and character assassination are their tools. Those who are bullied think it is all their fault, they are 'psyched' into this attitude by the bullies. Countless examples of such reality situations are there in front of us! Joining a Company which has bad reputation, signing deals with cunning people, falling (often foolishly) in love with crooks, buying a product just by watching a colorful ad, ignoring bullying and not nipping it off from the bud itself, living foolishly allowing ourselves to get exploited by 'relatives', suffering silently in a bad relationship, not asking for help, refusing the help offered, not identifying being abused etc. are some of the examples.

We have to be aware of the fact there are good and bad people in the world. There are criminals, murderers, and cheaters. The so-called 'good' people may turn bad if they allow themselves to fall into the company of bad people. Many people have 'layers'. There are many with no principles, morality or compassion. We live in such a complex society. Be aware of the fact that it is not all black and white everywhere; don't think that others too have the same thoughts of goodwill and pleasant feelings like we have about the things in the world.

• Be assertive. This does not mean that we have to be rude, stubborn or sign up for martial arts. You are a human being like others and you also have equal rights. 

• Listen to your inner voice. 

• Say NO if you would like to say NO. Never say YES if you want to say NO. Need not respond curtly, try to be tactful, diplomatic and cool in saying NO. 

• Join support groups. The internet is loaded with tons of info regarding many such emotional issues. There are so many online counseling sites. Share the problems with a trusted friend and never hesitate to consult a certified Mental health professional, if needed. This is difficult because such issues weaken the person making him/her indecisive. This makes them difficult to go to a professional all by themselves. If the problem is identified early this may possible.

• Rather than getting confined into our own comfort zones, get involved with groups that tackle such issues in the Society. This will help us to know better about them and the peculiar issues. If by any chance we land up in such situations it will help us to face it better.

Such issues are difficult to face all alone. It brings loneliness. They make people totally negative, their vibes become negative, and their friends and well-wishers get repelled from them eventually driving them into much more misery.

If you are a true friend, offer help immediately if you detect such problems in their life. Be with them.

Finally, don't think that the bullies and manipulators are the real winners. They are psychologically sick, they will perish, eventually. What goes around, comes around! Anyone moving against Nature, its laws, its energy will lose, one day or the other, no doubt whatsoever. It is only a matter of time. There are convincing examples of this fact in history, classics, personal experiences and in the present day world as well!

• Getting bullied, exploited and abused cannot be considered as the result of a weak personality. The so-called 'sensitive', 'weak' personality is the result of manipulation, fine-tuning and cunningness by other individuals and situations. Negativity results from encounters with negative people. 

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