Sunday, 14 February 2016

Why some people pick up only negatives ? How to tackle negatives in life? How to be positive ?

Negatives and positives are two sides of the same coin. A coin exists with these two aspects and they are part and parcel of it. There is no existence to the coin without these two facets. Everything connected with life in general has these two aspects.

We cannot simply turn a blind eye towards the negatives. Likewise, stressing only the negatives also is foolish. In a place where yummy dishes and drinks flow freely somebody may think only of too much Cholesterol and Sugar and may discourage others not to touch anything and that amounts to absolute negativity but a warning not to indulge would be okay and cannot be termed negativity.

Try to analyse the situation. Find out the positives and negatives. Analyse how to balance both. Make a plan to reduce the risks, negatives or take calculated risks. Likewise the positives too need analysis. Will it tackle negatives ? Are these things that we see real positives? Are we taking lightly the negatives and over stressing positives ?

Always listen to gut feelings, always...! 
Never, ever ignore this emotion, never !
Listen to inner talk, take some time and listen intently to what our subconscious mind is telling us...!

I am telling you this from my experience. In instances where I ignored what my real inner self was trying to tell me, I had trouble.  I am sure you all can relate to this fact.

There can be some instances where we can sound totally negative and being perceived as pessimistic. This usually happens when someone we trust betray us, when we get trapped in some tricky situations, forced to work with bad employers, when we get bullied, in the presence of manipulative parents, relatives, our loved ones and in front of Authorities. Even naturally positive persons become pathetic in such situations. The manipulators will try to instill negativity in your mind and will accuse you of being negative. This is a cool trick ! A person who is of the same league like them will not yield to such cunning tactics, but he / she will not fall prey to such things in the first place :)

Please look at the above scenarios carefully. Almost always, people who get bullied, cheated, trapped etc., are 'soft souls' who perceive the world as only black and white and turn a blind eye towards the grey / shady / dark areas. This world and the people that inhabit here have positives and negatives. Some are crooked, cunning and expert manipulators. They know how to exploit people, how to manipulate them for their gains, how to sugar coat poison, how to satisfy their lust pretending love and in a nut shell they know 'how to 'manage' ordinary people ! They psyche their victims and these poor souls think that everything is their fault. Bullies will target someone emotionally mature than them and soft-hearted. Those they are sure who will not resist or fight back are easy hits. They assume that the target, their parents, relatives, friends or well wishers are weak / afraid / reluctant to complain or exert resistance. Anger, violence and character assassination are their tools. Those who are bullied think it is all their fault, they are 'psyched' into this attitude by the bullies. Countless examples of such reality situations are there in front of us ! Joining a Company which has bad reputation, signing deals with cunning people, falling ( often foolishly) in love with crooks, buying a product just by watching a colorful ad, ignoring bullying and not nipping it off from the bud itself, living foolishly allowing ourselves to get exploited by 'relatives', suffering silently in a bad relationship, not asking for help, refusing the help offered, not identifying being abused etc.

We have to be aware of the fact there are good and bad people in the world. There are criminals, murderers and cheaters. The so called 'good' people may turn bad if they allow themselves to fall in company of bad people. Many people have 'layers'. There are many with no principles, morality or compassion. We live in such a complex society. Be aware of the fact that it is not all black and white everywhere; don't think that others too have the same thoughts of goodwill and pleasant feelings like we have about the things in the world.

  • Be assertive. This does not mean that we have to be rude, stubborn or sign up for martial arts. You are a human being like others and you also have rights. 
  • Listen to the inner voice. 
  • Say NO if you would like to say NO. Never say YES if you want to say NO. Need not respond curtly, try to be tactful, diplomatic and cool in saying NO. 
  • Join support groups. Web is loaded with tons of info regarding many such emotional issues. There are so many online counselling sites. Share the problems with a trusted friend and never hesitate to consult a certified Mental health professional, if needed. This is difficult because such issues weaken the person making him indecisive. This makes them difficult to go to a professional all by themselves. If the problem is identified early this may possible.
  • Rather than getting confined into our own comfort zones get involved with groups that tackle such issues in Society. This will help us to know better about them and the peculiar issues. If by any chance we land up in such situations it will help us to face it better.

Such issues are difficult to face all alone. It brings loneliness. They make people totally negative, their vibes become negative and their friends and well wishers get repelled from them eventually driving them into much more misery.

If you are a true friend, offer help immediately if you detect such problems in their life, be with them.

Finally, don't think that the bullies and manipulators are the real winners. They are psychologically sick, they will perish, eventually. What goes around, comes around ! Anyone moving against Nature, its laws, its energy will lose, one day or the other, no doubt whatsoever. It is only a matter of time. There are convincing examples for this fact in history, classics, personal experiences and in the present day world !

  • Getting bullied, exploited and abused cannot be considered as the result of a weak personality. The so called 'sensitive', 'weak' personality is the result of manipulation, fine tuning and cunningness. Negativity results from encounters with negative people. 

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Sandee said...

There are people that are so negative they can suck the air out of the room without trying. Bless their hearts.

Great advice.

Have a fabulous day. ☺

Dawna said...

This was very informative Rajiv, thank you

Anonymous said...

I've become better at saying no and I avoid negative people. I used to ignore my instincts to be nice and polite, and that caused me problems.

Rajiv Sankarapillai said...

Be positive !

Rajiv Sankarapillai said...

You welcome.
Have an awesome week ahead.

Rajiv Sankarapillai said...

You are right. Why we try to be nice by not saying no is something interesting to discuss.

Shirley Tay said...

Nice thoughts! I'm an easy going person & I can never understand people who have negative thoughts all the time. Life's so short; we should stay happy :D

jonathan said...

What I do is that I walk away from negative people as they make me depress with their stories. I have a tendency to feel their baggages and such ill feelings are then transferred to me. I become one like them. Through maturity, I learned when to leave and when to stay.

Rajiv Sankarapillai said...

Yep, stay nice, be happy :)

Rajiv Sankarapillai said...

Transfer your positive energy to them to banish their negativity.
Thanks dude.

Birgitta said...

Interesting post Rajiv!

Rajiv Sankarapillai said...

Thank you.

Launna said...

Ignoring the negative completely can cause issue as you say... but harping on it isn't good. We all have good and bad in our lives... remembering that is important xox

Sherry Ellis said...

Excellent thoughts! Thanks for sharing them.

stardust said...

What a meaningful post! There have been times when I felt small and weak, but somehow I managed to overcome with the consciousness of my weakness. Isn’t it our strength to know our own weakness? I am so grateful to my parents who brought me up by loving just the way I am, with warm encouragement so that I can have confidence in me, and to all the people who have influenced me nicely.

Thank you for your comments both on my blog post and my contribution post to View Japan which is owned by ruma and shared by me.


Rajiv Sankarapillai said...

Thank you Launna:)
Great comment !

Rajiv Sankarapillai said...

You are welcome, Sherry :)

Rajiv Sankarapillai said...

You welcome :)
This is a cool comment. Thanks again for going through the post thoroughly.
Your's and Ruma's posts are awesome !

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